My Job?

I am a leader for my daughters 'sparks' unit. It's like brownies but younger girls. First of all ...what the hell was i thinking?!!
A room full of 5/6 yr old girls ... whose idea of fun is that?

I am preparing for this weeks meeting. We are learning about other countries.. this week is India. Ok i don't know anything about India. I have a book to help me..uh yah. I still know nothing about India. So now I have to fill an hour and fifteen minutes with games and crafts and stories and stuff about India. Does anyone know how long an hour and fifteen minutes can be?
A long friggin time let me tell you.

So this got me to thinking ( thats never good ) I am worried about having to entertain them all. Well thats not why i'm there ..is it? I'm supposed to be a role model ( oh god did they ever find the wrong person ... Britney might be better) We are supposed to teach them skills and give them self esteam. Can i not have someone do that for me?
But this lead me into a whole rollercoaster of thoughts. At the end of it i realized that my big concern is that they like me..that they remeber having fun with us.
OK that could go into the good colum or the bad. Am I feeling that little that I need valadation from 14 little girls?
Or do i really care that they have happy memories?
Lets go with the last one....less depressing and costs me nothing in therapy.

So if anyone has girls in sparks.... don't worry they're in very good hands. Possibly shakey ones , but good hands.

Fire Side Reading

I need help finding a new book. All I have to read is the cereal box. Enjoying the works of Captain Crunch and Tucan Sam are not as great of a read as one might think.
I want something good , real , sink my teeth into..... Like a turkey sandwich. ( mmmm turkey)

I just finished 'Confederacy of Dunces' , that was so highly recommended .... And well I really didn't like it. I just couldn't get into it.
I've enjoyed Christopher Moore on several occasions, most recently "Fluke". That was really funny and imaginative and all sorts of messed up. How would you react if there was a bum hole in the bottom of your sink? ( read it you'll get it.)
I always enjoy Douglas Copeland " All families are psychotic" made me feel so much better about mine.

So I make a plea .. to anyone....Help . Recommend something!!!!

The system

I have friend who is on 'welfare' , she has a disability and can't work. She is doing a great job as a single mom of two girls. She has shown me a thing or two about shopping and money.
What bothers me is that she gets help from other agencies ( food bank , salvation army, etc.) but she can't get help from two of them at once. Does that make sense? One can't know the other is helping, or they will kick her off the help list. Uhhh ok? She can't work , not she doesn't want to. She babysits other peoples kids for free ( yes including mine) , she doesn't ask to get paid for it. How is it that we live in a system that can let so many families fall through the cracks?
We can barely afford our 'free' healthcare, we make too much money to get subsidy. If we make too much I'd love to know where it is? I guess I just squander it all on rent and food and bills.
But we are not the only family in this situation, there are so many like us.
What is it that we are supposed to do? Even as a community.
And as for my friend and the free babysitting... She doesn't have a car so when ever she has to go anywhere I drive her and her girls , so they don't have to take the bus. That's how I repay her.

Enough!!!

I love U2. My longest running relationship is with the men in U2. I have pictures of myself outside Bono's house ( current and where he grew up ).
I made a velvet dress for the 'popmart' tour. I stood outside until 6 in the morning just to get a chance to see them. All totally worth it.

Tickets for their new tour have gone on sale.
I don't have have lots of money just stashed under my mattress ( I don't know about the rest of you?) so I opted not to register myself to get the presale tickets. $40 is a lot to part with when you haven't been working and your car needs gas.
I stood in line for over 3 hrs Saturday morning with my daughter who really wanted to come with me to the concert.
They did a lottery system. Everyone got a # and then they picked one out of a hat and thats where the line started. My # was 395 ...... They picked 397. I was now second to last in line.
As if that wasn't bad enough my cell phone company started to have system problems.
Tickets sold out in 480 seconds. And I'm glad for the people who got them.
I just can't help but feel that I deserved ( and needed) them a little more than some of the people that did get them.

I don't mean that in a nasty way. But when my 5yr old knows U2 music after the first note , you know it's played a lot. She was with me at Bono's gates (18 months old).
I have a love for these guys like some people love their families ( this is what i'm told)
and it saddens me to think that the 'real' fans don't really get a fair shot.
If I had extra cash to join the fan club I would have. If I had a bunch of friends to scatter through the line I would have. If my computer worked well and I didn't have cheap crappy service I would have done it that way.

So what are we supposed to do? Come on Bono i'm for the drop the dept stuff , but can you not just throw us a bone here? Do yah really need that much more $?